The Post that Proves Parenthood is Glamorous

Awwww motherhood (okay “parenthood” because as you will see, Jeremy was not immune to the effects that usually happen to only moms!!) is a GLAMOROUS thing……….

Now that Carter is out of the woods with his illness, I can now give you the other side of the story!

If your child gets sick enough to warrant a trip to the emergency room, Murphy’s Law most likely will take over, and the following things will most likely happen, especially if said trip keeps you at the hospital for multiple days:

• You will not have cleaned up the mess from the previous night’s dinner. A dinner that used pots, pans and multiple dishes along with the dishes that were used to eat. All of which are piled high on the counter tops and in the sink. Thankfully, as I sat, worrying about what our neighbors would think when they came over to let the dog out, my mom had noticed the monstrosity of the kitchen and cleaned it before heading out with Evan. But I was not aware of this until AFTER we got home.  {Me}
• You did not take a shower the morning of the incident. Which means you will have already gone over 24 hours without a shower. {Me}
• All your clean under garments are still in the washing machine – forgotten for several days. So when you send your husband home to pick up clean clothes in the middle of the night, he will need to first rewash them or go buy new ones. {me}
• You will have a $2000 (shot) doctor appointment (pre-paid, non-refundable, non-rescheduleable (yes you know that’s not a word, but you know what I mean!) that you must get to because you already have had the first shot and the second shot must be within 24 hours.  Jeremy’s high tech thyroid testing! {Jeremy}
• You will get thrown up on, without a change of clothes, prior to actually taking kid to said emergency room. And defining thrown up on – as in jeans completely drenched. {Jeremy}
• You will not only get thrown up on, you will also have a wool sweater on and kid will want you and only you, for over an hour, without letting go. You will be sweating profusely but to keep your kid calm and less stressed you will sit with wool sweater on until you turn white and clammy and you yourself will almost pass out and require a nurse! {Jeremy}
• You will have awakened the day of incident with a sore throat. And with almost 37 hours of no sleep, we all know what will happen. {Me}
• You will get put into a double room. Which means both children alternate their fussing fits and doctor’s visits through the night. Meaning you will NOT sleep at all! {Me}
• You will have not have charged your phone and your phone’s battery will die. {Me}
• You will have not eaten since breakfast. And by the time you leave the doctor’s it is well past dinner time {Me and Jeremy}
• After 32 hours of no shower and no sleep, you will start your period, unexpectedly without any emergency items in your purse or extra clothes. {Me}
• You will have let the dog out and forgot to let him in. And upon arriving home, realize that something is missing. And then realize it has been hovering around freezing all day long. {Jeremy}

There you have it! Once again it’s proven that parenthood is sexy and glamorous!