I’m Gonna Need a Wig

I wish I could say that most days look like this:

Or this:

Or even this:

I wish I could say that my boys, my boys that I planned 18 months a part for a reason, were best of friends. Brothers who actually got along more than once a week.

But most of the time, they look like this. Ignore my foot in the picture. But like most moms, I don’t take many pictures of the boys fighting, so I have to use what I got:

But they don’t. I have tried EVERYTHING.

I have tried disciplining.

I have tried separating.

I have tried negotiating.

I have tried persuading.

I have tried discussing.

I have tried convincing.

I have tried ignoring.

NOTHING has worked.

Now don’t get me wrong. Evan is a very protective big brother to outside forces. If I could only get him to be a loving and patient brother all the time. And it has gotten worse now that Carter is old enough to instigate and that Evan is now in preschool.

They are non-stop picking on each other. Both equally.

Help! If this continues, I will need to buy a wig because I will have pulled every last hair out of my head. Mom of boys, please tell me it’s a phase, that eventually, it clicks, and they stop picking. Or at least tell me, this is normal between brothers. Or you can just lie to me ;-) !

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This entry was posted on Monday, November 15th, 2010 at 6:00 am and is filed under Daily Updates and tagged with , , , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

6 Comments

  • At 2010.11.15 08:44, Tweets that mention I’m Gonna Need a Wig – evanhaslanded.com. -- Topsy.com said:

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Cortney, Cortney. Cortney said: I’m Gonna Need a Wig http://goo.gl/fb/UGuHh [...]

    [Reply]
    • At 2010.11.15 09:39, Andrea- Mommy Confessions Blog said:

      LOL. I really have to laugh. Only because you think it is just if you have only boys. Let me tell you it happens with my older 2 and my younger 2 and sometimes a mix of all 4. Paisley (#3) takes on Declan (#4) on a regular basis. Evan (#1) and Scarlett (#2) get in full blown out fights. With the older 2 I haven’t been stepping in anymore. They have to learn to battle it out because well they fight dirty. Paisley and Declan I have to because she is a bully and will hurt the baby. I to have tried it all and now unless they are seriously causing harm to one another I don’t step in. But I can tell you that there are consequences when they are done and they don’t like what is handed out to them. Good luck….

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      • At 2010.11.15 11:45, DAD said:

        There are no Angels on earth. I am so happy that my two grandsons have two of everything they need (parents included); they romp and play and look and learn. From looking at the last picture, it would seem that Carter has finally learned from Evan. I remember more than once, you, grandma, and I, telling Evan, “be careful Evan, one of these days he`s going to get you.” Good job, Carter

        [Reply]
        • At 2010.11.15 12:30, Adam said:

          I don’t know if this is helpful at all. I am the younger of two boys and we’re three years apart. My brother and I used to fight constantly when we were younger. I think we had some kind of subconscious dominance battle going on. He was bigger than me, would sit on me, punch me, show me that I didn’t need to bother even trying to overcome him. At the time, he believed he would always be bigger and smarter than I ever could be because he was the older brother. But I was persistent in fulfilling my duty as a younger brother. I always had the urge to push his buttons to see what I could get away with. My mom would tell him that I might get bigger than him someday, but he didn’t listen.

          As the years went by, the beatings and annoyances became less and less, but we would have our occasional spats. I wish we could have resolved it another way, but we finally came to a place of maturity and true friendship when I did get bigger and stronger than him. I finally had enough, sat on him and punched him until he finally yelled out “TRUCE!” I’m not proud of the way it happened, but it brought us to a place where we were finally able to talk about how ridiculous all the fighting really was. Neither of us were generally angry people. We were both turning into rational thinkers, why couldn’t we resolve our issues together and just talk about them?

          I’m not all that familiar with where your boys are at as far as rational thinking beings, but (maybe with a little guidance) they need to find a way of resolving things between the two of them. They can’t be forced into it. They need to own it.

          Hope that’s at least something for you to chew on.

          [Reply]
          • At 2010.11.15 16:35, Beth said:

            Sorry that I have no constructive advice in this area…maybe in about two years or so. All I can say is that most guys that have grown up with a brother seem to look back fondly on their brotherly skirmishes. Maybe it’s some right of passage.

            [Reply]
            • At 2010.11.16 17:27, Toni said:

              If you ever find the secret of how to stop it, please blog about it. I have a girl 14, boy 13, & boy 6, they all fight each other. Just be thankful you don’t have a girl! LOL

              [Reply]
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